I keep on thinking I am nearly ready..

For someone who is borderline anaphylactic to shopping, I have become disturbingly good at it recently.  To be fair, it's not Manolo's or even M&S, but kit. Gear. Tools.  And I can't seem to stop.  A wood burner, a stand up paddle board (and therefore also a wetsuit, life jacket and doggy life jacket!), a solar panel, a solar generator, 30 metres of wood.. the list really does go on... Today, for example, I logged onto eBay (one of my now favourite apps) and searched 'LED lighting'.  In a excited whirr I realised a 10m long string of fairy lights was ending it's auction in 56 seconds... and somehow in that 56 seconds I decided that yes I would like them. No. Needed them. Less than a minute later I owned them. Fortunately they were only 99p so, I'm not really in the Big League here. But still, it's a little worrying.  

You see this all started with the wood burner from my last blog.. I can not tell you the countless hours I have spent searching for 'the one' since I last wrote.  In the end neither that pretty blue ceramic french one or the pot belly were suitable, and despite huge efforts I just couldn't find the right one.  Until a few days ago, when my absolute dream wood burner somehow appeared on eBay.  Needless to say I didn't wait for the bidding to start, I got straight in touch and drove 100 miles the next day to scoop it up, and for an absolute bargain.  And what a joy it is!  But here you see the problem.  The triumph feeds the craze.  And with the list of purchases now staring at me in black and white I feel an anxious pang of guilt and nerves.  How much will I love the doggy life jacket and LED lights when Skyla and I are scratching around the hedgerows looking for something to line our bellies with??? Hmmmmm.  

I am being a little harsh on myself, almost everything I have bought is part of the grand plan for the truck, I just seem to be buying it all at once now that the structural work is done.  

But what else has been going on since I last wrote? Well, poor darling Skyla has been spayed.  I just couldn't stand the idea of her being besieged by every stray dog in Europe for six weeks a year.  I am a little sad that she won't ever have pups but then again there are enough strays in the world who need good homes too.  Along with her surgical convalescence I managed to get a filthy virus so spent the best part of a week dragging my feet, hammering a nail in here and there.  But the last few days have been a flurry of activity  - I built my sofa! Not, like all my parents friends seem to think, under the tutelage of a man, but under my own steam from design to completion.  I am absolutely over the moon about it and have even managed to impress my dad! It's as wide as the truck, so just under 2.5 metres, and has buckets of storage space underneath and a little built in oak coffee table to the side.  I haven't even attempted to do the decorative part yet, but both Mum and Skyla can confirm that it is most comfortable indeed. 

Poor dad has been assigned the most gruelling and time consuming project that the truck has to offer: building up the window frames. And I take my hat off to him, he is attacking it with endless enthusiasm.  So much so that I bought him a chop saw as a thank you. 

Honestly there are so many little bits and bobs that are going on inside Puck that it's tricky to narrate them all here.  Most of it involves paint or varnish or wood filler so perhaps wouldn't make thrilling reading but I am assured by mum's tennis ladies (who convene at the house weekly) that lots of very positive noticeable changes are occurring week by week. Hurrah for tennis ladies!

How am I though? How am I feeling two months down the line about having hung up my stethoscope? And how do I feel about the future? All very straightforward questions with very complex answers.  The answer 'fine' springs to mind, but thanks to Oceans 11 I always think of that to mean Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional.  Which is probably completely on point.  I think the best answer is, I'm okay.  To be completely honest I do carry quite a lot of sadness at having left medicine, because of course I am looking back with rosy coloured spectacles. When I take the time to recall what it was really like, I thank my lucky stars and reassure myself that I have made  wise choice.  

My principal concerns about the future have always been financial, which seems laughable having just admitted to having been on a spending spree, but it's true.  There are inevitable expenses that I will face - truck MOT, breakdown cover, insurance for all three of us, diesel, some food and essential items (I don't think I can brush my teeth with a willow twig, nor waft around with amazonian leg hair - believe me, I did a trial run on that one and it was not pretty!!! suffice to say I shall be taking a large box of waxing strips..) but I'm genuinely hoping that I will find some low key employment that can bring in enough to keep the wolf from the door.   Which brings me to another concern: being occupied enough. Being challenged.  It has not bypassed me that I have come from a highly intellectual, pressured, fast paced career.  At the moment it's okay because I am purposefully preparing and learning new skills and being very busy... but I do worry that at some point I will need to just live and allow life to happen around me.  This worries me.  I am very worried about becoming massively bored.  I worry with reason, but perhaps I over-worry about it.  After all this 'doing' I need time to be and to open up and allow my life and my horizons to expand and breathe.  I suppose it is all a matter of balance.  If nothing else, I am intrigued. 

Now for the fun bit..

I think last time I left you the sideboard looked a little like this:

More undercoat, several layers of top coat and varnish later it now looks like this:

And here's the wood burner! It is teeny.. but absolutely perfect.. 

ooh and you get a sneak peek at the sofa there too ;)

So the sofa began as an idea in my head many moons ago and I have been refining it ever since.  I sketched it out on paper, then laid it out in wood and then finally bit the bullet, bought 30m of wood and took a saw to it: 

Laying the ground level was easy.. and, amazingly, so was the rest.. I still pinch myself at how logical and easy it seemed.  I even have noggins. 

The entire top is hinged to access the space below :) 

And with a load of cushions on top it is soo comfy! That sticking out little leg is part of the coffee table that I am yet to top with oak. And there is a lot of finishing touches to be done too, don't worry! 

A most essential purchase.. 

And the place where a lot of my money has gone..

And some beautiful spring flowers from the garden at my grandmother's where I have been visiting lots:

Skyla and I enjoying a snoozy relax in the sunshine on our new sofa :) happy days! 

I have a hundred little finishing jobs to do (as you can see!) and hope to do a UK mini trip to test everything out before hopping on the ferry to France. I'll be in touch well before then!  xoxo